Adolescent Observations by LovelessEnd, literature
Literature
Adolescent Observations
The only living, breathing thing in the hollow excuse for a home is this mind
The heart has long since turned to dust along with its aspirations and dreams
The sand falling through his fingers are no more than lost chances and burned bridges
The only escape he has is the image captured outside of his bedroom window
A world so still today, so dead, but not silent
Kerosene-induced flames would bring this world alive
The heaven's tears would retain its harmony
The elderly trees would plant their wisdom
Lone flowers thriving between sidewalk cracks
Tears dripping onto good-night pillows
Young minds blissfully filled with empty fairy tal
My alarm clock was not to scream for another twenty minutes
The serene world beyond my windowsill brought me to life
The lonely trees tormented by night embrace the gentle zephyr
And the sun is already setting on this too-old morning of new
There has been too much thinking and worrying to be done
She is leaving, she does not care, and she is moving on
Life passes me by faster than hourglass sand
Eroding stone in an eternal stream
After escaping and fleeing for miles
I breakdown and the tears fall again
Weakness in my knees is forever present
She can still pin me down, render me useless
She wields the power to destroy my world
She
I am lying here in the dark -- swallowing me, numbing me
I am staring at the ceiling -- distant, abyssal
I am counting to infinity -- to fall asleep, to expel boredom
In hopes of forgetting you for never
In hopes of testing myself
In hopes of preserving you in my memories
One, two, three
Please speak to me
Four, five, six
Unbroken cannot be fixed
Incompetent, lost -- what am I to do?
Each answer yields a new question
And the questions hold no plausible answer
I am clawing my way through the blackness
But I fall prey to destiny as I begin to fade
Let us count again, to a measure that cannot exist
Seven, eight, nine
Friends nee
Lately I've just been thinking of how weak I used to be
As the new kid nobody knew, they chose to pick on me
I was just a little kid and I wouldn't know what to do
I'd come home each day, my pride hurt more than the wounds
My eyes burned from the tears, punches hurt less than the fears
Bullies will be bullies, insincere, left me forsaken here
Year after year, sneer after sneer, until it became clear
I must have snapped at one point, I was so sick and tired of it all
I was going to walk home shamelessly, today I'm not going to fall
When they approached me that day, I fought back and I won
I realized an easy life isn't just going to c
Today I sat under a lamp-lit darkness and composed a last will
I folded it up and it fit perfectly into a dirtied white envelope
The gravedigger came to pick up the letter from my mailbox
He laughed hysterically when he read what I had to say...
Let me die slowly so that I can bid farewell to those I love
Let me live a long life so that I can say "I love you" each and everyday
I want to know everything I am not
And let me live the life I will never deserve
My heart is filling up with the toxic smoke of dying flames
The life I'm breathing is leaving my lungs and searching for something new
But I will forever treasure each heartbeat l
You and me are walking down that hallway together
Hand in hand and laughing at my lame jokes
Smiling at each other, being together
It didn't feel so cold out and life was perfect
We still ate lunch together each day
I still saw your smiling face in the morning
I was still the awkward kid who couldn't talk to you right
I'd look into your eyes and blush
The sun burns through my eyes
I feel a little disoriented as a yawn leaves my mouth
An obnoxious buzzing emits from my bedside table
It's 5:30 in the morning
Yeah, it was another dream
No, I didn't want to wake up
I remember the last dream
It was just a few weeks ago
But I finall
My life is the sand filling the bottom of the hourglass
But my mind is ticking as the pendulum swings hypnotically
Back and forth, back and forth
One step forward and two steps back
Where am I going?
I still remember when all the blood in this body seeped out of their veins
That day etched so vividly on a jet black and poor excuse of a heart
I remember all the words marked up on my sleeves
And the sleepless nights stolen from me
I have no more heart to give
The last time I checked, I'm heartless
I'm just so sick of spilling my guts out for nothing
Give me a reason tell me there's more to it than this
I'm just one step off
The New Kid On The Block by LovelessEnd, literature
Literature
The New Kid On The Block
This goes out to every new kid on the block I become
When I walk into a room and can't look anybody in the eyes
The nonexistent whispers I can hear from the back of my mind
The doubts and fears storming my presence
I am every last drop of ink the pen had to impose on the paper
The forgotten message caged within this bottle
Open me up and let the truth show through
Let me breathe and gasp for air purged of dust and age
I am the snowflake, a fallen angel exiled from the heavens
I am predestined to be tossed by the unforgiving winds
Only to end my life at the end of this journey on the cold earth
If not, the sun's rage will overwhelm
Drag me up into the clouds
And drop me
Force that smile upon my face
And impose a frown
Torment me and tear me apart
Cut me down into pieces
And pour salt on my wounds
You can have my heart too
It's bad enough being second place
You can ignore me too
Misread me and make your assumptions
So what if each tear has your name on it?
I'm going to be truly selfish for once
It's me, all me -- me, me, me
But it's no longer my fault
I'm not taking the blame anymore
I'm too sick and tired
But each time I fall
I see things a little more clearly
There's more beyond this horizon
My pain does not juxtapose
It does a great job to complem
That's right, it doesn't make sense anymore
I've taken off the chains and I'm leaving my self-imposed prison
It's time for me to be me
It's time for no more regrets, I'm taking every change
Life's a gamble and I'm ready to roll the dice
More than ever, I feel renewed and ready to be again
Back then my heart kept whispering to me
"Keep going, keep going -- there's always a chance"
I neglected reasoning and logic
"Don't do it, don't do it -- it's impossible"
It's time to keep going, it's time to move on
After all, the only I need for the next day to start...
is the setting sun to rise again in the morning
The road stretches on beyo